misterbrief | 12th Taunt

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12th Taunt | Action

Hey! Get me out of here! What are you doing?!!!

[Are the words floating inside of your head. Something is yelling at you, but who knows where's it's coming from? Maybe it's from inside your cupboard. Or you're crushing it underneath your butt as you sit down on your couch, or you roll over on it when you turn in your bed.

Maybe it's been dropped into your pot of water that you're thinking about heating up soon for your dinner, and you are now threatening to boil it alive.

Or maybe something less dangerous, like in your pocket or backpack. Either way, it's found its way into your life somehow, and boy is that thing angry. Real angry. Upon inspection, or finding said thing, you'll find a frog. A mean, nasty, angry frog who's suffered from a shift occurring inside the village. Seems the only power he's retained is his telepathy, thankfully. Sort of. Depends if you want to hear the guy or not.]

Find a way to fix this immediately!

[Find him anywhere you want. Being a frog sucks, but the prince doesn't really have a choice in the matter. If you happen to be the kind of person who would kiss a frog, just like the children's tale, maybe he'll turn back into a prince.]

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[Vegeta growls, as much as a frog can growl. On one hand, gross. He doesn't want to get kissed by anyone. Especially not Firo, it was bad enough with the shifted mistletoe...but on the other? What if it's the only way? 'You won't know until you try', thanks a lot Kakarot, for that constant advice...]

That might be my ticket out of this body, arugh! [BUT AT THE SAME TIME UGH HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT A KISS MAYBE HE'D RATHER BE A FROG...]

[No, he'd rather not be a frog.] Just try it and get it over with! At least this time it will be you washing your mouth off, not the unfortunate soul you kissed!

What? Maybe you'll turn back eventually! I could just lock you up in a closet until then...

[He glances around for something suitable, but has little hope of finding anything. Or of this frog being cooperative.]

Lock me and up and I'll make you regret it!

[He will pee on it all. He doesn't care, it's not his stuff.]

[Though he may be slow, Firo can already think of quite a few ways this freaky frog could cause trouble for him. Peeing on things, telepathically shouting into his head all day...

The kiss is the only option.]

...Fine, you bastard! Let's just get this over with!

[Trying not to gag and cry about how unfair life is, he lifts the frog to his face and gently pecks its lips.]

[And poof! As soon as Firo kisses him, a five foot five inch man appears right in front of him, and staggers back, wiping his mouth in disgust. Gross! But that disgust doesn't last long, as he discovers something important-]

It worked! I can't believe this! [As he inspects his hands, arms, and whole body...he's really him again.]

[Firo steps back as the frog transforms into a--

Oh

my

fuck]

It was you?! You--you bastard!

[In a moment, he'll be a little afraid at how Vegeta will feel after being threatened and shoved around, but for right now Firo's really angry.

So angry that he shoves his peed-on hands at Vegeta's chest.]

[He's way too happy to care about being called a bastard or anything like that. But that changes when Firo's pee-soaked hands wipe across his chest.

He looks down. Oh no.]

[Stares back at Firo and glares.]

What do you think you're doing.

[Firo has the sinking feeling that he may have just signed his own death warrant, but he's in too deep to stop now!]

This is all your fault! So you're gonna clean it up, startin' now!

[And he rubs the hands on Vegeta again.]

[A little vein pops out of his forehead in anger, and one hand comes down to try to grab the wrist of the pee-soaked Firo.]

Take your filthy paws off of me.

[He growls and tries to wrench his arm away.]

Who's fault is it that they're filthy, huh? Huh?! I can't believe you! You're like a kid!

[Vegeta twists Firo's wrist, just to get a point across (and maybe because Firo's statement is so dead on accurate and he sort of knows it.)]

Shut up! You want that mess cleaned up, huh?! [He snarls at Firo.]

[He winces, but stops trying to pull away. He doesn't want to give Vegeta the satisfaction and also this way the pee is still close to Vegeta.]

I do! It's your fault, so you do it!

Very well. [That is not what Firo wants to hear.

His other hand comes up, aims his palm at the floor where the pee was as he forms a small amount of energy in his hand. And with all the courtesy one would expect of the Saiyan Prince, he shoots it at the floor, blowing a hole in the bottom of the house. Wood splinters fly everywhere, and it explodes with a boom as it tears up the floor. If there's a basement, it can clearly be seen now from the first floor through the hole. Smoke floats up from the burnt sides, and he looks on his work with satisfaction.]

That will regenerate by the end of the week, I'm sure. You're welcome.

[At least the pee is gone]

[Well, that's one way to take care of it.

To Firo's shame, he jumps about a foot in the air as the floor explodes. As soon as the smoke clears a bit, he glares at Vegeta and stamps his foot.]

Are you a fuckin' idiot?! That's not how you clean stuff!

[He only looks back to Firo with a cold stare.]

You said you wanted the mess gone. So I removed it for you. Tsk, tsk, I won't be doing any more favors for you if that's how it's going to be. Clean yourself up. It's starting to smell.

[It is a pretty abhorrent smell, but Firo needs to yell some more.]

I said I wanted it cleaned up! Not for you to blow up my floor! Are you really such a spoiled brat that you can't even clean up a mess you made?!

Perhaps you should of thought twice before grabbing me! You won't be making that mistake again, now will you?!

[He is that much of a spoiled brat he really is]

I didn't make that mistake! You made the mistake when you were bein' a baby!

[How are you going to convince him of this, Firo? How.]

And how was I supposed to know that you didn't have plans to squeeze the life out of me? [He points his stupid finger at Firo.] I did what I needed to do, and it worked.

You coulda' explained to me better what was goin' on!

...Though I woulda' squeezed you to death if I'd known it was you!

[That... basically proves his point, Firo.]

Had I tried to explain it to you, I'm sure it would have gone in one ear and right out the other. [He says as he peers at Firo for saying he would have squeezed him a lot harder than he would have liked.]

Remind me never to buy you a pet. You would only end up killing it before the day was over.

[Firo can't entirely argue with Vegeta's first assertion, so he just shakes his head and sighs unhappily.]

I said I woulda' squished it 'cause it was you. I wouldn't hurt some innocent pet.

[Well, not on purpose. And he was pretty mean to the frog even without knowing it was this old grouch.]

Whatever. [Turning, he kicks a chunk of wood at his feet down the hole in the floor, and turns towards the door to leave.

Without even saying thank you for freeing him from being a frog-!]

[Still stubbornly not learning his lesson, Firo nearly follows Vegeta to pester him for a thank you or an apology or something. But now that the most immediate moment of irritation has passed, he's suddenly more conscious of the mess on his floor. And his hands.

Glaring, he harumphs as he watches Vegeta go. Then he slinks off to finally wash his hands.]

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12th Taunt | Action

I AM TOO

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