misterbrief | 1st Taunt

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1st Taunt | Voice/Action

[Action]

[His clothing had finally arrived, and Vegeta's streaking through the sky, a blue trail of energy in his wake. He finally reaches the shop in a huff, catching himself with a left foot and balancing with a right as he lands.]

[Inside, he's berating the poor person running the shop-]

You-! Are my belongings finally in stock in this pathetic little dump you call a store!?

[He soon after stomps out, clothing in hand, reaching the middle of the square. But he doesn't take off right away, still brooding over his arrival in Luceti.]

[In fact, throws his clothes down onto the ground in a rage and takes out the journal he'd woken up with a few days prior.]

[During his short voice entry, he searches his back and finds his wing, still yelling into the device, yanking on it with teeth gritted. He falls to his knees, face completely blue as the shining ocean itself and is desperately trying to hold back vomiting as a few feathers or so float down beside him.]

[He'll be there for a short while before he regains the strength to stand up and walk again, back to his apartment.]

[Voice]

Listen, I don't know exactly why I've found myself here, but I am tired of this ridiculous game. I demand I be returned back to West City before I decide that I'm going to get some therapy from blasting someone. And these ludicrous wings-! They can't be removed, huh? Well we'll see about that!

[A groan and the ruffle of feathers- followed by a cry out as he's reaching back and yanking on the wing on his left side. Over the audio there's a thud and the sound of a throat holding back what one could probably assume was his lunch.]

Argh! You can't...be serious...!

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[Loki does exactly what he has promised to do. Refilling Vegeta's tea. Oh, he notices that he looks offended, but he has an idea that everything offends this person. Not even words that are not meant to offend would be taken as an offense. How offensive.

Still, except for his door and bed, Vegeta has not even laid one finger on himself. Probably something with barks and bites and the one being worse than the other.]

I take it your memories of your home planet aren't fond ones?

[No, no they aren't Loki. Not at all. He's sitting silent still, angrily thinking about it, fighting the urge to break something else or just blast Loki to help him deal with his frustration. The only thing that remotely helped was knowing that Frieza was dead, defeated first by Kakarot and then finished by his own son, avenging their race- and he breaks the silence finally, looking up with a still angry but grave look.]

My planet was destroyed. My race exterminated. Only a handful of us remain.

[His head turns back to the side, not wanting to look at the boy, still thinking back on the matter. He'd grown strong enough to protect the home he had now, sure, but that didn't mean this still didn't eat away at him whenever he thought about it.]

[Loki watches Vegeta closely. There is a certain change in his demeanor now and well, now the entire 'getting acquainted'-part could begin, right? Right.

Loki sits down on the remains of his bed, shifting a bit until he's fully comfortable.]

I see. You have my neverending pity, Vegeta. Quite a painful predicament indeed, yes. I hope you reproduced? Creating offspring is a sufficient way to save your race and your legacy.

[The mischievous look disappears from Loki's face for a moment.]

Is this the source of your rather obvious anger?

You can keep your pity to yourself! [That glare shoots at Loki as he seats himself next to the irritated Prince. It was also his way of answering Loki's last question as well. Not the sole reason, but one of the largest.]

[Though Vegeta's attention is now pointed forward instead of to the side in the direction of the young god, willing to at least answer the inquiry of children. In his old age, he'd come to be quite proud of them. He can at least be somewhat happy about that thought, a small arrogant smile sliding across his features.]

Yes. A son and a daughter in fact. Though all she wants to do is shop. [He gives an eyeroll at that.] She's just like her mother.

But it is, isn't it? After all, you are royalty, yes? Stripped of everything you used to have. Your planet, your race, your loved ones. All gone. Of course you are angry and of course you have destroyed my bed in a most casual way.

[Loki smiles broadly. Because, yes, he sees this, he understands this.]

Yet, you have chosen not to give in to your anger and found new reasons to live for. And even though you still display a significant amount of anger, it is not on the inside anymore.

That is important.

And maidens are fond of purchasing unnecesary items. This is most common.

[He glances over at the places where he'd bent and broken the head of the bed. He can't really argue- Loki's pretty much pointed it out and let's be honest, Vegeta doesn't exactly try to hide his anger. He responds to that with an angry growl, in a tone such to convey that Loki was indeed correct and that he supposes Loki has a point about how he handles his life and his anger not being held on the inside as much anymore.]

[Which results in a sigh to his next statement. How he knew this concept all too well.]

Tell me about it. Especially with their strange fascination with shoes. [He shakes his head at the memory of having to shop with his daughter.] It's baffling to me how they have such an obsession with them. [Whatever made them happy, he guessed...better than the yelling, for sure.]

[He looks over to Loki in exasperation.] Sometimes I think they're not even worth the time. [He doesn't actually believe that, but...grumpy.]

[Loki keeps smiling. He had been right. He likes being right.]

Aye. Shoes, clothing and tiny canines inside a bag of Gucci. They are not bigger than a mere rodent and they dress them up a lot. But then again, maidens are most concerned with their exterior.

I think it has something to do with desiring attention from the males on Midgard. Hoping that they will be wooed by a man so they can start their rut. And kissing with tongues.

[Nah, Loki's not buying that, Vegeta.]

Oh, I am sure that is a lie.

Yes, and it's annoying. If there weren't as many bathrooms in the house as there are, I'd never see the inside of it. [Bulma was always fretting over her looks and Bulla was always concerned with the latest fashion, the worst of it being when he had to take her to the mall. He chuckles quietly, yeah, he's lying for sure.] Perhaps it is.

[But he's not sure whether to be appalled or amused by the way Loki describes women as wanting to 'start their rut', one because it was such a primal way of putting it, and two; the boy was so young, why on earth is he thinking about it that way?]

Did you just call it "starting their rut"? [Shocked. He's going to go with shocked on this one. He was going to ask about what Midgard was but he's too bewildered by that first.]

I must say that your daughter as well as your significant other sound like quite the cliche image of Midgardian maidens. They like purchasing shoes and clothes and spend a significant amount of their time in the bathroom.

Are they, perhaps, cheer leaders?

[Loki blinks at Vegeta's last response and nods.]

Aye.

Cheerleaders? [He pulls a face at that.] No, my wife is a scientist! [And he gets all grumpy again.] And all my daughter can do all day is think about stupid teenage boys. How I'd like to give them a piece of my mind.

And what are you doing thinking about things like that, you're only a boy! Didn't your parents teach you anything?

A scientist? My word, she breaks with all stereotypes. Your daughter, on the other hand, does not.

[He finds it fascinating, honestly very fascinating. Prince Vegeta the Saiyan, you live a remarkably interesting life.]

Ah. You refer to the act of intercourse? It is all over the world of online and I should fulfill my role as a rebellious teen by desiring such a thing at all time. And woo maidens. And similar teenage behavior.

My parents? Well, the All-Father is a rather busy man. I do not think he has the time for informing me about the birds and the bees, you see? Second of all, he exiled himself to Asgard space. Kind of hard to reach.

[Oh god someone gave this kid a computer, why.] Must you do everything you read on the internet? This is exactly why I would never let my daughter near one of you. [Very flat-toned. Very. Accompanied by an eyeroll.] Dating is for the weak. [Sigh.] Teenagers.

[But that raises a few questions.] So your father is a god as well, huh? What exactly is he a god of, then? And why is he so busy that he has no time to spend with you? [Even Vegeta took Trunks to the park on occasion. And he's always with Bulla.]

[No Vegeta, Loki gave himself access to the world of online, and it might be evident that that is the best thing that has ever happened to everyone everywhere.

And Loki grins because Vegeta is not really getting the fact that the words that come out of his mouth are covered with a thick layer of sarcasm.]

It is what is expected of me. Once my so-called 'hormones' start to rage, I wish to bed all the maidens. Alas, such a cruel fate awaits me. Et cetera.

[Loki raises his eyebrows at Vegeta's questions. Of course he can answer some, but not all of them and some only half.]

Well, my real father is not quite from Asgard. It is something complicated and also something I cannot remember very well. All I know is that he used to rule Jotunheim and his name is Laufey. He died.

[Vegeta is going to rest a chin back in his hand just so he can look over at Loki to glare with a 'really' kind of look.]

You know, you give me the impression that you were raised by wolves and recently got introduced back into society, and unfortunately they gave you an iPad when you arrived. [Said completely deadpan.]

I've never heard of such places, this Midgard and Jotunheim. Where are they in relation to the Earth?

A pad of I? I do not own one. I obtained a Starkphone.

[Loki shakes his head and he keeps on shaking his head because Vegeta mentioned wolves. Things aren't like that, Loki just does not remember much and he's not going to tell such things to Vegeta.]

Man of great anger, you read too many fairy tales.

[He laughs softly.]

Midgard, Asgard and Jotunheim are three of the nine realms connected by the branches of Yggdrasil, the world tree, you see? Of course we are familiar with the fact that there are realms beyond the nine we know of.

[Man, all this cross universe crap is just making his head spin, and wouldn't you know it, this little brat was no different than any of the other weirdos here.] So let me get this straight. You're from Asgard. Earth is Midgard. [He assumed since he referred to his family as Midgardian maidens. He's not even going to guess at Jotunheim. He rubs his face, trying to make sense of it all.]

And I'm the one who reads fairy tales? What you're describing sounds like a fairy tale on its own! Next you'll be telling me unicorns are real and monsters live in my closet! [He thinks Loki is so ridiculous.]

I notice you are a quick study, Prince Vegeta the Saiyan. Oh how this pleases me. You are actually smarter than you look! Brains and brawn, yes?

[However, there is a bit of sarcasm in the tone of his words as well.]

Well, you are the one named after a vegetable, Vegeta.

I'm just trying to make sense of all this rubbish you're feeding me about your universe. [He heard that sarcasm, and it makes him sneer at Loki. Offended all over again.] Excuse me if I've never heard of it before. And I told you to cool it with the vegetable crap! [He didn't choose to be named after produce, after all!]

You're going to be the reason why I go bald during my stay here. [He's already contemplating ripping all his hair out.]

Please, do not force me to crack jokes about your receding hairline, Vegeta.

[Loki has an excellent idea. He is going to draw things out for you. And after five minutes you will receive this:]

I hope this clears things up for you.

[He takes the paper, scrutinizing it- it looks nothing like the universe as he knew it, much too small and not positioned correctly. Loki and his people have obviously never been in outer space to Vegeta, because this is not what the galaxy Earth belongs to looks like. He doesn't notice where Loki's drawn in Planet Vegeta quite yet.]

This is completely wrong, you don't even have Earth's sun accounted for and none of those planets even exist. I'm not even from this galaxy and I know that. If you'd left your tiny world of Asgard then maybe your people wouldn't make such horrible mistakes in their charts of the galaxy. [Oh right. Different dimensions.] I can't believe this is what your world looks like, it looks like your gods suddenly decided to acquire a green thumb and go completely vegan.

[Then he notices Planet Vegeta on the drawing.] What's this?! Planet Vegeta is not a piece of broccoli! It was a normal planet like any other one that has life on it! What's wrong with you?!

[Loki listens to Vegeta's rant with a completely blank look on his face.]

So narrow minded. So your galaxy should be the only right galaxy? The land of Luceti has collected different beings from alternate dimensions and universes. This might get problematic for you, you see?

And that is how my world looks like, Extremely Grumpy Middle Aged Man.

[He crosses his arms.]

You are right, maybe it should have been a carrot. You wish me to correct this?

[He has a feeling he isn't ever going to win with Loki. What was that? That sharp feeling in his forehead? A migraine? Yes, it was the beginnings of a migraine.]

[He's just going to rest his head back in his hands, completely exasperated with the boy. Trapped in a tiny enclosure with the universe's most irritating teenager. Time to change the subject.]

Listen, Extremely Irritating Hormonal Child, what exactly is it you do around here for entertainment other than annoy all those you meet?

Next time I expect a better comeback, Vegeta the Saiyan. It barely makes me laugh. And I like a good joke.

[He shakes his head slowly.]

My hobbies? Well, I take care of Frakki. And I walk my dog Thori. I also make excellent shaken milk.

1st Taunt | Voice/Action

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[action] lolol, are they bonding?

[action] /stares I THINK....MAYBE. 1/2

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[action] BAD IDEA VEGETA ABORT ABORT XD

[action] U YOU HAVE SOLD YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL

[action] YEEEEP