12th Taunt | Action

[misterbrief]

Hey! Get me out of here! What are you doing?!!!

[Are the words floating inside of your head. Something is yelling at you, but who knows where's it's coming from? Maybe it's from inside your cupboard. Or you're crushing it underneath your butt as you sit down on your couch, or you roll over on it when you turn in your bed.

Maybe it's been dropped into your pot of water that you're thinking about heating up soon for your dinner, and you are now threatening to boil it alive.

Or maybe something less dangerous, like in your pocket or backpack. Either way, it's found its way into your life somehow, and boy is that thing angry. Real angry. Upon inspection, or finding said thing, you'll find a frog. A mean, nasty, angry frog who's suffered from a shift occurring inside the village. Seems the only power he's retained is his telepathy, thankfully. Sort of. Depends if you want to hear the guy or not.]

Find a way to fix this immediately!

[Find him anywhere you want. Being a frog sucks, but the prince doesn't really have a choice in the matter. If you happen to be the kind of person who would kiss a frog, just like the children's tale, maybe he'll turn back into a prince.]

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[foundafamily]

You'll--?

[Oh

No.

It takes Firo a moment to realize what just happened. Did the frog just ooze frog juice on him? No, no, that's definitely... Yuck.

He abruptly drops the frog and stands up, as if that will be enough to save him.]

You little son of a--!

[misterbrief]

Hahahahaha! [He cackles gleefully in Firo's head, and will promptly try to forget he ever resorted to such a tactic to free himself. Hopping away with as much speed as a tiny frog his size can muster, he's still booking it for the couch.]

My, what a mess! A responsible adult would clean that up right away-!

[foundafamily]

[Oh, hell no! Firo tears his eyes away from the mess and and dives again for the couch.]

It's your fault, so you clean it up! If you're really an innocent villager like you said, then turn back into a human and take responsibility!

[misterbrief]

Croak!

[Caught again! He squirms in Firo's grasp.]

You think I want to be stuck in this useless body?! Don't assume I'd turn back into something so weak, a human, ha!

[foundafamily]

Then what'll it be? I don't care so long as it can use a mop!

[He has no idea how, but he is determined that this dude will clean up after the filthy frog.]

[misterbrief]

I can't change back, moron! You want the mess cleaned, figure out a way to get my body back!

[And then he won't clean it up because he's an asshole.]

[foundafamily]

How the hell am I supposed to do somethin' like that?! In the stories it's always--

[A kiss.

Hell no.]

[misterbrief]

...

It's always what.

[He doesn't read these stories. They are stupid human stories that he doesn't care about.]

[foundafamily]

[He shakes his head.]

No! I'm not doin' it! You're--you're gross!

[misterbrief]

I'm gross???!!! Have you ever taken the time to look in the mirror?! [THAT'S NOT HELPING, VEGETA.]

What are you blathering on about? Do what??

[foundafamily]

Yeah! You're completely disgustin'!

[He hesitates, too wrapped up in this sordid task to even take offense at the mirror comment.]

It's... In the stories, they... W-well, usually they turn somebody back from bein' a frog with a--a--

[Oh, god, he can't say it. It's too scandalous!]

...a kiss.

[misterbrief]

With a what???!!! Tell me, blast it, turn them back with a WHAT?

[Is this his chance will he be able to return to normal? Even his little froggie feet cling to Firo with expectation. He wants to know!]

Don't stand there with your tongue tied! Spit it out!

[foundafamily]

A... Um...

[He takes in a deep breath. He can't avoid this anymore.]

A KISS, DAMN IT!

[misterbrief]

[He was so excited for a minute. Was being the keyword here.

Then his whole body slumps. A kiss. No. Anything but that.]

I think I'm going to vomit. [Is all he can say for the moment.]

[foundafamily]

You're gonna vomit? Think about me!

You're a gross frog, you're an asshole, and I've already kissed people twice here even though I was savin' that for someone back home!

[TMI, Firo.]

[misterbrief]

Who cares about the kiss you were saving for your mommy! [VEGETA.]

How would you know if that's even going to work! This is no fairy tale, boy!

I'm dying

[foundafamily]

Sh-she's not my mom, you son of a--!

[He grits his teeth and looks away, suddenly sort of grateful that Vegeta's moving on from that.]

I-I don't know! So we're not gonna do it!

I AM TOO

[misterbrief]

[Vegeta growls, as much as a frog can growl. On one hand, gross. He doesn't want to get kissed by anyone. Especially not Firo, it was bad enough with the shifted mistletoe...but on the other? What if it's the only way? 'You won't know until you try', thanks a lot Kakarot, for that constant advice...]

That might be my ticket out of this body, arugh! [BUT AT THE SAME TIME UGH HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT A KISS MAYBE HE'D RATHER BE A FROG...]

[No, he'd rather not be a frog.] Just try it and get it over with! At least this time it will be you washing your mouth off, not the unfortunate soul you kissed!

[foundafamily]

What? Maybe you'll turn back eventually! I could just lock you up in a closet until then...

[He glances around for something suitable, but has little hope of finding anything. Or of this frog being cooperative.]

[misterbrief]

Lock me and up and I'll make you regret it!

[He will pee on it all. He doesn't care, it's not his stuff.]

[foundafamily]

[Though he may be slow, Firo can already think of quite a few ways this freaky frog could cause trouble for him. Peeing on things, telepathically shouting into his head all day...

The kiss is the only option.]

...Fine, you bastard! Let's just get this over with!

[Trying not to gag and cry about how unfair life is, he lifts the frog to his face and gently pecks its lips.]

[misterbrief]

[And poof! As soon as Firo kisses him, a five foot five inch man appears right in front of him, and staggers back, wiping his mouth in disgust. Gross! But that disgust doesn't last long, as he discovers something important-]

It worked! I can't believe this! [As he inspects his hands, arms, and whole body...he's really him again.]

[foundafamily]

[Firo steps back as the frog transforms into a--

Oh

my

fuck]

It was you?! You--you bastard!

[In a moment, he'll be a little afraid at how Vegeta will feel after being threatened and shoved around, but for right now Firo's really angry.

So angry that he shoves his peed-on hands at Vegeta's chest.]

[misterbrief]

[He's way too happy to care about being called a bastard or anything like that. But that changes when Firo's pee-soaked hands wipe across his chest.

He looks down. Oh no.]

[Stares back at Firo and glares.]

What do you think you're doing.

[foundafamily]

[Firo has the sinking feeling that he may have just signed his own death warrant, but he's in too deep to stop now!]

This is all your fault! So you're gonna clean it up, startin' now!

[And he rubs the hands on Vegeta again.]