misterbrief | 4th Taunt

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4th Taunt | Video/Action

[Video]

[In the last few months after arriving in Luceti, Vegeta (somehow) has managed to meet a variety of the inhabitants, somehow miraculously making "friends" and creating enemies alike, but he's noticed one common theme among almost every person he's come across.

This absolutely strange obsession everyone seems to have with his hair.

Which today, has prompted the Saiyan Prince to angrily express himself on the matter.]

Listen. I know most of you may not know me, but if we cross paths- yes, this is my actual hair. [He turns his head so the video can clearly catch all of his anti-gravity mop.] It's not held up by any artificial means, it's not a wig. I don't use this "industrial style hair gel" some speak of, I don't blow dry it to perfection, and I certainly have no intention of letting any of you try to brush it, comb it, touch it, or otherwise come near my hair to satisfy your curiosity.

A Saiyan's hair does not change from the moment they are born. I've always had this hair, though I have cut it to this length to match earthling hair, as it was much longer in the past. [His daughter made him cut it. It was nerdy.]

So I don't want to hear anything more about it, from anyone, or I'll be more than happy to blast you.

[Action]

[He's going to either be at home in Community House 3, at Seventh Heaven getting a meal, or training at the Battle Dome, if you'd prefer to run into him instead.]

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Let me say this; it's quite a long story as to how the Earthlings look up to this moron. But he served his purpose, at least.

Well Cliff, it sounds like our universes don't differ much from each other. But I can tell you that if it works in your world in the same way it does mine, there will be some who will rise up; and when they do they will destroy whatever brainless halfwit that controls the galaxy. What goes around comes around, as they say. [And with that he grins; suck it Frieza, suck it.]

Don't worry. Something like that's already happening. Kinda.

[It was complicated. Between the interplanetary war going on, Quark's attempts at banding underrepresented populations together, and the threat of destruction...there wasn't much else to do but retaliate.]

It's complicated. [He shrugged. That was just how it rolled.]

...Now I'm wondering what else our worlds've got in common. It's an odd coincidence.

Edited 2013-03-10 05:42 (UTC)

I can tell you now that my world has this irritating tendency to attract every sort of vile being in the universe. And every single one of them as the ability to destroy entire planets without any effort whatsoever, with their energy alone. It's especially irritating when they decide to step on my house.

...Other than that I'd say it's a pretty normal existence.

We don't really have much of a problem about anyone destroying planets. [Except when they did.] Remember what I said about politics? There's this Federation...and, in my opinion? It could be run alot better.

Edited 2013-03-11 14:08 (UTC)

I'm surprised you even want an organization like that running your universe. [His experience was of course not so great, as he practically lived in slavery to a certain extent.]

What exactly is it that they do besides force worlds into their reign?

Who said we want it?

[The Klaus system had utterly rejected the invitation to join the Federation right from the beginning and, even though they had been connected with the interplanetary scope of civilization for only a century, Cliff had a hunch that the sentiment wouldn't change.

He groaned under his breath at the mere thought of explaining this.]

The organization calls itself the Pangalactic Federation and, suffice to say, their job is to keep peace in the galaxy. At least, that's the party line...they don't do a good job of it.

It was founded on Earth. So. Ya see my problem now?

Edited 2013-03-12 14:45 (UTC)

Hmf. I'm surprised those idiot Earthlings even had enough drive to create something of the sort. They're not the brightest creatures I've ever met, not as a society at least. [He did know a few smart humans, but they were few and far in between. And even then he didn't consider them to be all that intelligent.] But I suppose the humans of your world might prove to be different than the ones I know. I will say if the human species has taught me anything, it's not to underestimate them. Despite the fact that they haven't proven to me to be smarter than a rock, they have proved themselves in other ways.

Perhaps it is not Earth you should hold your grudge against, but rather the ones that work at the head of this Pangalactic Federation. I'd cut the head off of the beast, but...that's what I would do.

[Vegeta is definitely the kind of guy that does what needs to be done even if it's not the most tactful way, or the way everyone else would want. Like getting good service at a restaurant. If you get bad service he'll make sure you get good service next time even if it means he punches someone out.]

[There was tact and there was picking your battles, in Cliff's mind. He followed the same advice that he gave to his fallen opponents in most every conflict that he encountered, whether it involved fists or words.]

Know your enemy before you strike the first blow, Vegeta. Remember that weed killer from before? Taking out the top guys would only get me and my people tossed into jail. Now, I don't mind prisons myself, but some of my people might not appreciate what's in store there. Whips hurt no matter what world you're on.

Edited 2013-03-13 21:15 (UTC)

I know this Cliff. The regime I am familiar with attempted to take over the galaxy planet by planet, hiring my people to do its dirty work. And it wasn't even that much- we practically lived in slavery. We would have all been killed if we didn't do the bidding of that monster. Even then! Even then he...

[He looks away for a second, teeth grinding. Even so long ago, it still burns within him. But he regains his composure to continue.]

When Frieza, his brother, and his father were defeated their entire organization slowly fell. Word spread that there was a fighter stronger than them, and it dissipated into nothingness, knowing no one would be able to stand up against this warrior. That is why I say to go for the head. If they can be defeated, then who else is there to stop you. Of course I understand you can't just rush in with no training under your belt, you need enough to win- but once you are strong enough, then they should be dealt with accordingly.

[Cliff listened silently as Vegeta explained his piece and found that he finally understood why Vegeta's strategies were so direct; there was nothing else to do.]

...Yea, I don't think we're talking about the same thing here. Your strategy works damn well in those situations, but they're not the ones I'm dealing with. There's politicians back home, not warlords, that run the place. They're just a bunch'a paper pushers that know a few good lines and can smile while they toss around numbers and call it war.

As much as I'd like to punch a few of them out? Anarchy is worse.

Edited 2013-03-15 01:24 (UTC)

I guess not. [He folds his arms- he's not entirely familiar with the politics of Cliff's world. After he came to Earth he really didn't pay attention to politics much, as he didn't feel he needed to. He's got the most basic understanding however, of what anarchy is.]

That sounds wonderful, a bunch of idiots who sit behind a desk that know nothing about the universe around them. In my experience beings like that are nothing but morons. I'm sure if they found themselves on the battlefield they'd be singing quite a different tune, now wouldn't they. [He's no respect for people who make decisions who can't fight themselves like that.] I would have to agree though, leaving a people to themselves would not prove beneficial. Even we had a structure for rule to our own race, and it kept everyone in check quite well. Of course you didn't cross the royal bloodline if you wanted to keep your life.

I know, right? [Cliff had to laugh at it. As much as he hated to reference Terran texts, Sun Tzu had it right. Don't let the politicians make military decisions.]

But, people don't exactly rule by strength alone back home. It'd be simpler if they did, but then we wouldn't have to worry much 'bout the Federation.

'Sides that, there's some damn good captains out there, and they have damn good warships. [The Invisible flashed through his mind, as did the Aquaelie.] They're the ones out there who are doing the fighting...and the less scrupulous of them don't really care about who else they affect with their wars.

Kinda hard to fight a system like that. It's why my planet didn't join the Federation, and why a bunch of systems are trying to be independent. Just. These paper pushers again.

[He can understand all that, at least. That sort of system wasn't exactly familiar to him but he got it, what Cliff was trying to explain.]

Unfortunately when it comes down to warring with other planets, that war will come to your own as well; I've seen too many examples of that already. When you're able to travel the universe, eventually, the fight will come to you no matter where you live. [Even though it kind of goes without saying, doesn't it.] What will you do when they come to claim your planet?

[Cliff frowned at the mention.]

Ya think I don't know that? It's already been happening, and it's a part of why these systems want to break off. They're not getting the support they need.

The wars won't touch my home; we won't let 'em. But these other places...

[He huffed irritably.] Agh. That's where Quark comes in. We try to help these little guys get together so that their voices can be heard. And to kinda, you know, be a support to eachother in messes like this. [Cliff scratched his head in a moment of distraction as he mulled over the overall climate of his galaxy. It seemed bizarre to him that Federation politics seemed so small anymore.]

...

No one should have to follow orders they don't like. I know I don't.

For your sake you better hope your forces are enough to keep it from coming to your home world. I don't know exactly what this Federation does when it takes over. But again; I've never had a good experience with this sort of thing.

So is that what this Quark is? Your own little organization to rival that of the Federation? Seems like a losing battle if they have such momentum already in your world.

And I don't know about that. Some orders are necessary despite if someone likes them or not. [But Vegeta is usually the one giving the orders.] But that is if you trust the one giving them.

Haha. Don't get me wrong; I'm just a field agent. Please. It's one of those things where you have to play inside the system. If people get loud enough...?

Welp. There's no choice but to hear.

Besides. Our boss does a damn fine job of running the ship. What she says goes, but she's cool about it. If there's anyone I do trust giving me orders, it's her.

[Cliff has far more patience for this kind of thing than Vegeta does, and he sees that- if he had to do what Cliff does, he'd certainly kill everyone in the room before he put up with people yelling orders at him. But instead of saying it he just wears an expression of impatience at the idea. Cliff is smart; he'll understand, he thinks.]

Does she now? She must be a fine tactician. [Something Vegeta can certainly appreciate.] Something very necessary on the battlefield. I wish more Saiyans had those kind of brains. We may be incredibly powerful but I can't say the entirety of my race were rocket scientists. [Hell, most of them couldn't control their Oozaru form like Vegeta could.]

[Cliff could tell enough about Vegeta's level of patience from their prior conversation alone. To him, it didn't sound like Saiyans were a very patient race...not that he was a shining example of a Klausian or a paragon of patience himself.]

She's one of the best you'd find, trust me. Though, I'm kinda hoping that she doesn't land here...because. It's here. [And their work at home was infinitely more important.]

And sometimes you don't need a bunch of brilliant people. Sometimes all you need is someone who can talk tough and prove it in action. You really don't have anyone like that?

It would help if they had more than half a brain, fights would be a lot more simple if one can plan ahead and outwit their enemy. I'm more used to an individual fight rather than fights involving large starcraft. In fact, battleships are quite useless where I'm from, since a single being can just blow them up without barely lifting a finger.

Do you mean talk tough but lack any sort of IQ? Sure, we've got one like that, his brain consists of nothing but his stomach and his own stupidity. [He gives an exasperated sigh.] But I guess he's pretty strong, either way.

No, I mean they've got way more than half a brain, but they're not afraid to join in the scuffle when the cannons start firing. Ya see, we don't really have people back home who can just destroy battle-class ships like that. [It was a half truth, but the entirety was a can of worms that he didn't want to open at that point.] So, they're a pretty legit threat.

[He shrugged.] When you're dealing with something that has both space-time displacement shields and creation cannons, you've gotta think a little.

Interesting. Ships from my world had their own lines of defense but nothing to that degree. However that would make sense if no one of your universe can fight as ones from mine can. Our own bodies would probably function as that of a creation cannon, if it works the way I'm assuming it does.

You see, a majority of my race traveled by pods, a small circular ship that only sat one person comfortably and were no larger than a small Earth bathroom, probably smaller. However, a vast amount of the galaxy knew better than to attack a Saiyan space pod- lest they found themselves a quick end.

It sounds that our technology is vastly different. I wonder what else you have access to that we haven't invented yet.

You mean that there's people that can destroy a planet if something goes south? Geez...

[There was a reason for the heavy restrictions that were placed on the use of creation energy and how creation cannons were used. They were powerful, but extremely difficult to control.]

I dunno if we can really compare things straight here. We've got pods like that too-- as emergency escapes for when a cruiser goes down. They're kinda like lifeboats on one of those classical wooden ships, the kinds that are used on the ocean. But, people have been active in space for over seven hundred years by the calendar, even if my people have only been at it for a hundred or so years.

Edited 2013-03-23 01:27 (UTC)

Yes. It's a lot simpler than you might think, destroying an entire world. I'd demonstrate but- [He lets that trail off, giving a small smirk in the process. He wouldn't do that anymore, though. That was once upon a time.]

Ours are a little different, they weren't necessarily emergency escape vehicles. However we had a remote control to activate it to come to our current location in case we needed to get to it quickly. It was quite convenient if you had to get off of a planet. Though I've only had that problem once. [He does look a little irritated at that thought as well.]

[But his hand finds his chin.] Interesting. I couldn't tell you of our own universe and how long beings have had access to space travel myself. I know the Saiyans were granted access to space travel when we came under the reign of Freiza, but there are rumors they had the ability long before that. It's very muddled, being that it came from a time when my race was quite primitive. But...you could say we evolved very quickly.

I'd prefer if ya didn't, thanks. [There were certain events that were too recent for him, so recent that he still wasn't sure if he could believe them, and the suggestion-- even made in jest-- only served to get him steamed.] We'd all need one of those little pods if you want to give a demo, and I think they're sold out in these parts.

[However, the momentary irritation eased as he mulled over the explanation.]

Sometimes those legends and rumors have some truth to them. Not that it matters much.

What do you mean about 'developing quickly' anyway?

I know that legends have truth in them. I've experienced it firsthand. [But he shrugs at Cliff's question.] I can't tell you for sure how everything took place. [~~Since canon itself is very inconsistent and it makes Vegeta's mun very angry.~~] What I do know is that a war broke out between my people and an inferior race called the Tuffles, and needless to say we forced their people out and ruled the planet ourselves. The details are skewed on the matter, some say the Saiyans lived in the wastelands of the planet, while the Tuffles lived as most modern races live now. Others say we traveled there from space and conquered the planet. I was originally told the story that we lived as slaves at one time to the Tuffles, but as I said these are rumors.

However, as we learned to use their technology, we grew- and the Saiyans became what you see before you now. Though I'd like to think I've developed a little more manners than my ancestors.

4th Taunt | Video/Action

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[Video] loved this thread, can't wait for more <3