misterbrief | 4th Taunt

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4th Taunt | Video/Action

[Video]

[In the last few months after arriving in Luceti, Vegeta (somehow) has managed to meet a variety of the inhabitants, somehow miraculously making "friends" and creating enemies alike, but he's noticed one common theme among almost every person he's come across.

This absolutely strange obsession everyone seems to have with his hair.

Which today, has prompted the Saiyan Prince to angrily express himself on the matter.]

Listen. I know most of you may not know me, but if we cross paths- yes, this is my actual hair. [He turns his head so the video can clearly catch all of his anti-gravity mop.] It's not held up by any artificial means, it's not a wig. I don't use this "industrial style hair gel" some speak of, I don't blow dry it to perfection, and I certainly have no intention of letting any of you try to brush it, comb it, touch it, or otherwise come near my hair to satisfy your curiosity.

A Saiyan's hair does not change from the moment they are born. I've always had this hair, though I have cut it to this length to match earthling hair, as it was much longer in the past. [His daughter made him cut it. It was nerdy.]

So I don't want to hear anything more about it, from anyone, or I'll be more than happy to blast you.

[Action]

[He's going to either be at home in Community House 3, at Seventh Heaven getting a meal, or training at the Battle Dome, if you'd prefer to run into him instead.]

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[And back to pleasantries and a return to more feminine vocal tone.]

And who is being the base one now, hm? I was merely speaking of friendly flirtations.

Oh look, another god here to tell me what I can and cannot do. I hate to tell you this but being addressed as a "mortal" as if you could end my life doesn't exactly leave me shivering in my boots. Especially ones with such dramatic mood swings as yours.

[He laughs.] Sorry. I don't flirt. I've no time for ridiculous things of the sort.

Ugh, the attitude of you people. It's honestly the most awful thing and I've seen the Plagues.

[Sigh, seriously. She is so bored here with no one to kill anymore.]

And I could end your life, but sadly you have a few more years on you - with quite the interesting Record in-between, I hope. If not, I pity the god in charge of collecting you.

I'd honestly love to see you try. [He's pretty confident, even against deities. The so-called gods back where he's from were pathetic in comparison.] I'd say I've got an awfully interesting track record, thanks. And really, you should pity him, since I destroyed his office the last time I saw him. I bet there's still a nice little hole in the roof above his desk.

...Well that is unfortunate. It sounds like he's spectacularly bad at his job then. [As an aside, she mutters:] Must remind Headquarters to train the new ones up better.

Dear, you have no idea how tempting it is to just let loose and kill you and half the village who really should not be alive, but my hands are tied. So long as the List says you're to be alive, I'm technically not allowed to lay so much as a pinprick upon you lot. It's awfully boring.

[That earns a genuine laugh from the Prince.] He's no more than an oversized fool stamping papers all day! If I ever have to deal with him again it'll be too soon.

So there's a list now? That's new news to me. I just thought when you died you lined up and had to wait to be judged by a giant pink ogre. [Maybe he was red. He can't remember exactly. Pink sounded good though. Very unmanly.] But that's good to know even gods can be tied down with a tiny piece of paper. You know you could always take up a hobby, like knitting or whatever boring tasks you females like to do.

Well, of course he wasn't very impressive, he's a paper pusher. I would rather die - if that were even possible - than become a desk officer. Field agents are faaar better.

Also your misogyny is ever so refreshing. [No, really. She's never heard that on before. Grell sighs] How your wife puts up with you is a mystery, but I pity the poor woman.

Field agent? What do you do, make sure the pathetic minions down in Hell actually do their jobs instead of standing around all day picking at their behinds? Sounds riveting.

I'm glad you like it. Interesting how a stereotype automatically means I must hate women. I'll have you know I find everyone equally irritating and idiotic. Though I would say she doesn't deserve pity, she berates me enough as is.

I collect souls and ensure the slated-to-die depart from the world as they are intended. Hell is a completely different animal; not that people here seem to understand that.

Stereotypes are the killers of good sense, my dear.

[Interesting though. Good to know at least one woman here has her man under some sense of control.]

Hah. Well I guess I can be thankful now that I got the crone that I did to escort me instead of you. And Hell is an awfully dreary place that is filled with an assorted lot of weaklings that have died to my hands. [Well, not just his.] But I'm sure yours and mine are vastly different. [He hasn't soon forgotten the difference in universes between Luceti residents.]

[He doesn't respond to her last statement. Instead he gives a little growl.]

Ooh, a murderer, are we? That won't go over well with the villagers. They tend to get rather cross with those types.

Well I haven't had a reason to kill anyone yet, but I guess that'll give you some work to do if I decide that I've had enough with a particular being, now won't it. It should be a nice change of pace for you from trying to flirt with every being you see.

And I'd say I'm doing rather well considering I haven't blasted someone yet for as long as I've been here. [He made it two months so far without killing someone due to losing his temper; that's pretty good for Vegeta!]

Well, that shows how little you know of me, don't you? I only flirt with the handsome ones.

Although I do wonder how much it will take for you to lose that fiery temper of yours.

[Uhhh, did she just give him a compliment? He didn't want any of that, gross. He turns a little red at Grell's flirt comment, sounding very offended and embarrassed.]

Curiosity killed the cat, don't forget. Or in your case maybe it would be more appropriate to say curiosity killed the cougar. [Because if you're a god, you're probably old. And he's a lot younger in comparison.]

....Did you just call me old? Rude.

Well you did insinuate you were a god of some sort. That automatically makes you much older than I, now doesn't it.

[UGH]

Just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I'm old. And you don't tell a lady that anyway! Do you have absolutely no manners at all within that acorn head of yours?

Then what is old to you? A couple thousand millenia? Do you fall just short of that? [Now he's just being a snot.]

Of course I have manners! I'm just very particular on who I show them to. They're more of a...privilege than an obligation.

Edited 2013-03-22 02:59 (UTC)

Old is your tone of voice with me and your hairstyle.

[Hmph.]

And you may say you have manners, but I've yet to see them - which leads me to think you're just lying to me.

Be silent, woman. If you expect me to treat you with any sort of respect, then I suggest you should try to earn it first. And you're not doing yourself any favors right now. [Hypocrite much? Yes.]

You've not even told me your name and you started hitting on me from the get go. Now explain to me why I should show any sort of manners to someone who makes themselves out to be some harlot.

If you wish me to try to earn it, perhaps stop calling me by my gender? It never sounds sophisticated, especially with your personality.

I don't see why I should give you a name when you stoop to calling me names. It's incredibly rude, you know.

So what is it that you want then? I'm certainly not going to get on my knees and worship you, if that's what you're expecting. And without a name all you really are is just irritating. Not that a name is going to change much on the matter.

So are you going to tell me or not or should I continue to call you whatever I please?

I only require you to use manners when speaking to a lady. Which, to be fair, should be an unspoken rule.

Ask nicely and I shall tell you. I'm sure you have at least that much propriety in you.

[Did she just make a joke? It's a pretty good joke.]

Sure. Miss Incomprehensibly Aggravating Degenerate, may I please have the name of whatever you call yourself by? I would appreciate it so much that I could address you as such instead of having to make up a name for you, since it seems to bother you so much.

Well if you're going to be cheeky about it. No.

[Because why not waste this guy's time? It's precious.]

voice; there were no fucks to be given in the thieving process XD

misterbrief - 2013-03-29 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

voice; there were no fucks given = vegeta's life motto?

deadlyjuliet - 2013-04-02 06:24 (UTC) - Expand

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4th Taunt | Video/Action

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voice; So I just found out Grell is a man and I'm crying omg

voice; akfj;j;a omg, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned/linked to the explanation for him/her

voice; lol omg no this is perfect the way it is, let him believe he's a girl aaha

voice; LMAO Vegeta = forever confused by the transgendered characters

voice; EVERYTHING IN LUCETI CONFUSES HIM

voice; Now I imagine him walking around like an awkward turtle everywhere

voice; haha he tries to dodge anything that looks super strange- which is most things

voice; don't be a shut-in, Vegeta.....

voice; he's an anti-social bug, gatta drag him outside

voice; wow grell will do it by appearing in his apartment so he has to leave to get away from her

voice; haha he'll nope-spider so fast out of there then blow up the building

voice; everyone else should be used to it, living in the same building as vegeta

voice; LOL THIS IS A FACT.

voice; He wins the "Worst Neighbor Ever" Award

voice; Dude he wins worst everything award

voice; Wow, so he's an award hog too. SHEESH VEGETA

voice; Gatta boost that pride in every way he can ^.^

voice; lmao by stealing awards. rude

voice; there were no fucks to be given in the thieving process XD

voice; there were no fucks given = vegeta's life motto?