misterbrief | 5th Taunt

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5th Taunt | Voice/Action

[It's been a little over a week now since Vegeta's disappearance, and thankfully for him at the moment they've decided to simply dump him in the woods where no one can see him.

Or rather, her.]

[His eyes open finally. How long had he been here passed out? Either way, it didn't matter and he finally was out of the hands of those misbegotten scientists. It was really too bad he couldn't kill them whenever they took him, he wishes he could. His head is cloudy and he's awfully groggy still, searching for the journal next to him. Vegeta soon discovers that his hand...his whole arm wasn't that familiar mass of muscle belonging to his arm. It was still muscular but toned and...

...HOLY COSMOS...

Cue the shocked look as he looks down, feeling the recognition of a dress settled on his body rather than the pants he should be wearing hits him. He had breasts. What in the galaxy he had breasts.

What have they done!? He was a woman! Could the Malnosso honestly think of anything more humiliating than this!? How did they expect him to go home looking like a girl? He's never going to hear the end of it! Bulma and Bulla would never let him live it down until the end of time! Why him, honestly?]

Voice

[Ok. He's female now. It's fine. Wait no it's not fine. It's not fine, no no no no no it's awful and it's horrible. This will not be permanent, but who knows how long this will last. One small problem though...how does he dress himself? He mulls over that in his head, it couldn't be that bad. The pants and shirt aren't hard, but...underwear? Bras? He's simply got no clue, he doesn't know what size he is anymore in the hips and he definitely doesn't know his bust. Perhaps he should ask his family.

No, that is a horrible idea, give them more fuel for the fire to make fun of him relentlessly. He can dress himself without their help. However his attempts at finding something that fits is a complete failure so far. And he can't wear his Saiyan armor, he wore it in the draft and many different people saw him in it. The last thing he wants is people to figure out who he is.

He could ask Luceti? They won't know the difference, will they? And he does not feel bad about deceiving anyone on the matter either. He cannot believe he is going this far, but to him it's better than having yet another thing on the plate to be made fun of at home. So he's going to choose voice for this one.]

Luceti, let me ask you this. In what way here have you found it easiest to shop for appropriate attire, including your undergarments? I know this may sound strange but where I am from we had a uniform and armor that we all wore as we were constantly in and out of battle at any given moment. [Yes, that sounded generic enough. Playing the military card, and it wasn't really that much of a lie either. But he will lie if he has to, for the love of the universe.] So as you can imagine this is quite new to me. [Except the whole part where it's not, only for the fact that he can't figure out how to put on a damn bra. Girls, help him!]

Action

Clothing Shop
[He'll be attempting to find himself something other than the New Feather dress he's got on, and he needs to try to find undergarments as well- have fun running into him there.]

Seventh Heaven/Around the Square
[He'll be heading over to the restaurant, since he's also starving, so after the dilemma of wearing the appropriate clothing is sorted out he's heading over there. He'll be in the plaza before he gets lunch to mull over how he's going to return home to his wife and child to face the music.]

Battle Dome
[No matter what gender he is he'll still train like usual that night in the dome, if you'd prefer to meet him there.]

House 29
[Mostly for Goku, Bulla and Bulma if they choose this spot to meet him, but if you know where he lives and want to drop by he'll be there as well.]

((OoC: Yeah, Vegeta's been turned into a girl. Karma's a bitch right? So responses will be coming from

doesntneedsaving!))

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Cliff leaned back against the wall while he waited for the 'woman' to change, fully intent on seeing this through after getting the game out into the open. He chuckled at the suddenly girlish display-- this, clearly, was going to be a blast.

"I dunno 'bout that. One of the scariest people I know is a woman who's thinner than you. She's got a kick that can bust concrete, but you'd never guess that from looking at her. She's beautiful too, but that don't mean she plays nice."

He pulled back into the racks to find underwear for her, figuring that the Malnosso weren't necessarily kind to the ladies either. It took a moment to find one, and he tossed it over the door to the woman inside.

It's a pack of pale pink thongs. Have fun.

"I can think of a woman who would probably be much more frightening than one who can kick through concrete." He calls out from inside the dressing room, while he changes out of that awful New Feather dress. Not going to lie he still looked pretty tough even as a woman, and the scars across his chest and back were still visible despite the body change. The pack of thongs hits him right in the head as they sail over, which he catches.

What was this? What a pain in the ass, Cliff. He surely thought this was funny. Also, he'd removed these off of his wife plenty of times but he'd never imagine he'd wear them. In fact he wasn't going to wear them, they looked downright painful. So, he tosses them right back over the door. "I'm not a fan of thongs, think you could find some regular panties for me? Thanks." It's in sort of a singsong voice too, to try to disguise the fact that he really wasn't a girl.

"Oh, were they thongs? My bad, guess I wasn't paying attention!"

The package was caught easily and tossed back into the pile as Cliff set off in search of proper undergarments, and valiantly kept his amusement quiet as he did so. Vegeta was tough and could definitely give Mirage a run for her money if it came down to it, but that was no reason to not play around.

Besides. That ego needed to drop a few pegs.

"I dunno man. I've met some women that were downright sca-ree, if you catch my drift. Pity, it's always the hot ones too." He tossed over another package.

"Here. Try these."

They were white bloomers. React.

Edited 2013-04-16 22:52 (UTC)

These...do not look like panties. He doesn't even know what they're called. What the hell was he supposed to do with these? "These aren't panties, I think you might need your eyes checked." Tossed back over the door. This isn't amusing anymore, and he knows Cliff is messing with him.

Oh, and he wants to go down that road, pulling the attractiveness card. He better not be checking Vegeta out, because that sort of makes him shudder. He does not want to know if any males are looking at him that way, that's just disgusting and makes his stomach a little queasy. "Don't you have anything better to do than check out your enemy? I assume that's what you mean by 'sca-ree'." Mocking on purpose. That's what a woman would say yes? Be offended at him for making a comment like that?

Only men who lacked decency and respect would check out friends and comrades in that fashion, and only the insane would try something like that during a formal meeting. Cliff was only a man and couldn't help but take a gander at a stranger that wasn't young enough to be his daughter, but that was quickly forgotten after he realized who Vegeta was.

It was all a joke at this point.

"Who said anything about anyone being enemies? We're pretty big on equality back home. A woman's worth more than just how nice her ass is." He caught the package and tossed another over-- a package of bikini style panties in a variety of colors.

"Besides. Only an idiot tries to hit on someone that's out to kiill them. People like that don't stand a chance."

That was more like it, this looked like the normal underwear he was used to removing off his wife. Well, she had thongs too but, details.

He quickly changes and comes out wearing that white and blue outfit Cliff had given him before, pulling a little at the leggings. Feels weird, man. But he looks awesome! He places a hand on his hip as he comes out, scowling at Cliff. At least he didn't give him anything scandalous to wear.

"I'll agree with you on that. The chances are that when one is out for blood they will get exactly that. Any kind of romantic interest is a petty excuse and will just guarantee death. Sounds like you've got a bit of experience in combat then. The battlefield is no joking matter, now is it." He's not referring to protecting those one loved however, that was a different matter altogether.

Cliff grinned at the sight of Vegeta in that particular outfit, amused by how it fit and how Vegeta's stance resembled someone that was oh-so familiar to him. Truly, the Saiyan was sca-ree as a woman.

"You're right. I've knocked a few heads together out there, and the ones who have the most trouble are those who can't get into the game.

Of course, I see no reason to not have fun at it."

He chuckled, and couldn't help himself at this point.

"That ain't a bad look on you. Your partner's gonna love it."

"Hmf, I also see no problem having a little bit of fun either. Fighting is one of my favorite hobbies, if you will." And that's the truth, nothing a Saiyan likes more than fighting. Eating comes in at a close second.

Oh man what no Cliff don't say that. Vegeta gets super red, being that he already doesn't like getting compliments and add on that you're complimenting him as a woman of all things. "Thanks." He barely manages to choke that out. How disgusting, now he wishes he hadn't even put the damn outfit on.

Cliff, unable to help himself at this point, burst out laughing at Vegeta's flustered gratitude over the offhand complement.

"Don't be so serious about this, man! At least you're still you, and not dropping glitter everywhere!"

He didn't care to hide it anymore. The joke had a good run.

"Cliff, you are truly a piece of work, honestly, throwing me thongs of all things! I should have thrown them straight at your head instead!" He is so angry now for that. And he has no issues letting him know how much he didn't appreciate that at all.

Edited 2013-04-17 05:45 (UTC)

"Think of it as payback from before, and just be glad that you liked this one. There were plenty more to choose from, but I don't think you'd like 'em too much."

"Payback!? For what?!" He crosses his arms angrily, he doesn't get what he could have possibly done to deserve this at all.

"Now, now. Relax. It ain't that important."

It was only a small retaliation for irritating him on the Draft. He still had no idea what the proper solution was, but that was only the way of life.

He harrumphs, because he knows Cliff is just giving him shit. "How did you even know it was me, is it honestly that obvious?" This seriously isn't fair, he thought he looked totally different.

"I actually wasn't sure at first if you wanna believe that. But, we kept taking and...well," he shrugged, spreading his arms as if he were making an opening, "its the way you talk and the way you move. Not very ladylike, even if you look like one."

Vegeta's in this awkward position now where he's not sure whether or not to be offended or thankful that Cliff has graciously let him know that he does not act like a woman. So the picture painted now was half and half- he gets a little red first, but follows up in an exasperated tone, "Well thank goodness for that." And now he doesn't have to try to hide it anymore, at least.

"Perhaps you're the one who should be the woman, picking out something like this." He'll self-consciously pull down the skirt a little. It feels so awkward.

Cliff laughed, completely unfazed by the implication in Vegeta's retort.

"It's nothin' like that. I'm just something of an artiste, and that's sorta like something one of my friends back home would wear.

Trust me. She's sca-ree."

"Well what do you know. Cliff Fittir, stoic revolutionary and budding fashion advisor. You and my daughter would get along pretty well." He would never admit to it but he was learning too, all about this fashion concept, thanks to her. Vegeta was slowly getting better at not wearing 'nerdy' outfits and things of the sort. That wasn't to say that he was still any good at it though. A work in progress.

"And quit making comparisons as if I were actually a female. It's degrading enough as is. Sca-ree, sheesh. I'll show you frightening."

Cliff hummed thoughtfully at Vegeta's words. "'Stoic Revolutionary' sounds way too grand for me. I just follow my gut and do what feels right. Nothing special there. I'm just a fighter and an impressionist-- you should give it a try sometime!"

He laughed shortly at the thought of getting along with another Earthling teenager, one who was far more normal than the one he already knew from home. There was no comparison.

He grinned slyly at Vegeta at the further commentary. "Hey. I just have an appreciation for line and form, like any proud artiste. The really scary thing might be letting you loose in here on your own. Sheesh, I've got no idea what you'd have come up with on your own."

"Appreciation for line and form?" He can't help but parrot that, and he puts his arms over himself as to cover his newly-found humiliating body and pulling a disgusted face. Vegeta's pretty self conscious of some male checking him out, and probably will be the rest of the week.

"I would have been perfectly fine picking out my own clothing, for your information." Except it wouldn't of fit him more than likely. "So don't get on me, it's not like it's terribly hard to pick out a shirt."

Cliff sighed. "Relax. I was just kidding! It like you wanted something to be a disguise, and you've gotta be a little picky sometimes with what you pick out.

This number? I don't think anyone'd expect you to dress like that even if it is a Shift."

"Of course they wouldn't, I'm wearing a skirt of all things-!"

But he can't deny that no one would expect it, hopefully that'll keep some people he knows off his ass about being a girl. The less he looked like himself, the better, to a certain extent of course. Makeup is a no no. There is no way anyone is going to get him to put that on. He'll kill half the village before that happens.

He's pretty much done with discussing it though. He's in a skirt. Yeah, the outfit doesn't make him look like a dweeb which he's at least thankful for that, it wasn't pink and he wasn't a flower.

"I need to break the news still to that family I mentioned before. They happen to be here in Luceti, unfortunately for them. So I'll be going to do that now, if you don't mind."

"Heh. Good luck with that. Those ladies of yours sound like a handful."

He didn't envy the position that Vegeta had found himself in, but at least he was dressed decently enough. Cliff agreed about the bit with the make up, but the rest of it?

It worked.

"I'll catch you 'round sometime. Take care of yourself."

"I'm going to need it. Next thing you know I might be sitting in a pile of powder and lipstick." Which is the last thing he wants now, it was bad enough he's got a whole new world of women to explore for however long it took to change back into a man.

He gives a wave of a hand in farewell, and walks out of the store- still not all that happy but at least he had clothes. It was a start.

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5th Taunt | Voice/Action

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