misterbrief | 5th Taunt

Entry tags:

5th Taunt | Voice/Action

[It's been a little over a week now since Vegeta's disappearance, and thankfully for him at the moment they've decided to simply dump him in the woods where no one can see him.

Or rather, her.]

[His eyes open finally. How long had he been here passed out? Either way, it didn't matter and he finally was out of the hands of those misbegotten scientists. It was really too bad he couldn't kill them whenever they took him, he wishes he could. His head is cloudy and he's awfully groggy still, searching for the journal next to him. Vegeta soon discovers that his hand...his whole arm wasn't that familiar mass of muscle belonging to his arm. It was still muscular but toned and...

...HOLY COSMOS...

Cue the shocked look as he looks down, feeling the recognition of a dress settled on his body rather than the pants he should be wearing hits him. He had breasts. What in the galaxy he had breasts.

What have they done!? He was a woman! Could the Malnosso honestly think of anything more humiliating than this!? How did they expect him to go home looking like a girl? He's never going to hear the end of it! Bulma and Bulla would never let him live it down until the end of time! Why him, honestly?]

Voice

[Ok. He's female now. It's fine. Wait no it's not fine. It's not fine, no no no no no it's awful and it's horrible. This will not be permanent, but who knows how long this will last. One small problem though...how does he dress himself? He mulls over that in his head, it couldn't be that bad. The pants and shirt aren't hard, but...underwear? Bras? He's simply got no clue, he doesn't know what size he is anymore in the hips and he definitely doesn't know his bust. Perhaps he should ask his family.

No, that is a horrible idea, give them more fuel for the fire to make fun of him relentlessly. He can dress himself without their help. However his attempts at finding something that fits is a complete failure so far. And he can't wear his Saiyan armor, he wore it in the draft and many different people saw him in it. The last thing he wants is people to figure out who he is.

He could ask Luceti? They won't know the difference, will they? And he does not feel bad about deceiving anyone on the matter either. He cannot believe he is going this far, but to him it's better than having yet another thing on the plate to be made fun of at home. So he's going to choose voice for this one.]

Luceti, let me ask you this. In what way here have you found it easiest to shop for appropriate attire, including your undergarments? I know this may sound strange but where I am from we had a uniform and armor that we all wore as we were constantly in and out of battle at any given moment. [Yes, that sounded generic enough. Playing the military card, and it wasn't really that much of a lie either. But he will lie if he has to, for the love of the universe.] So as you can imagine this is quite new to me. [Except the whole part where it's not, only for the fact that he can't figure out how to put on a damn bra. Girls, help him!]

Action

Clothing Shop
[He'll be attempting to find himself something other than the New Feather dress he's got on, and he needs to try to find undergarments as well- have fun running into him there.]

Seventh Heaven/Around the Square
[He'll be heading over to the restaurant, since he's also starving, so after the dilemma of wearing the appropriate clothing is sorted out he's heading over there. He'll be in the plaza before he gets lunch to mull over how he's going to return home to his wife and child to face the music.]

Battle Dome
[No matter what gender he is he'll still train like usual that night in the dome, if you'd prefer to meet him there.]

House 29
[Mostly for Goku, Bulla and Bulma if they choose this spot to meet him, but if you know where he lives and want to drop by he'll be there as well.]

((OoC: Yeah, Vegeta's been turned into a girl. Karma's a bitch right? So responses will be coming from

doesntneedsaving!))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why not go make a token attempt to destroy the barrier?

[Worth trying, at least.]

Maybe you'll succeed where others haven't?

That's wishful thinking, at best. [He's arrogant but he already got his ass kicked by the inanimate object called the barrier. And he knows that isn't going to work.]

Maybe if I had my tail I would try, but I don't. And unless the Malnosso are kind enough to return my tail to me I won't be trying anything of the sort. [Because that's simply embarrassing being beaten by a barrier.]

Your tail? Do Saiyans have tails?

[Because this is new?]

[Oh, that's right- he never said anything about that did he? Welp, time to explain that embarrassing mess too. Why not, he's already a woman as is. Let's just add to it.]

Yes. All full-blooded Saiyans are born with tails. Mine just happened to be removed in a battle long ago. [By long ago he means almost thirty years.] If I still had a home planet I'd be the laughing stock of our race for being careless enough to let it be cut off. [Whatever. He's totally over it by now though.]

Oh. Hmm. That's...interesting. I'm sorry to hear you lost it, but a tail is just a tail, isn't it? You don't seem to really need it.

[She doesn't really understand why it's embarrassing but that's neither here nor there.]

Besides, when I sprout one it tends to get in the way. Isn't it easier to manage without?

How in the galaxy do you acquire a tail? [Seriously, what?] You have to understand however that it's a little more significant for a Saiyan than just a small annoyance. If I had it I could reach a form far more powerful than the one you saw me use on the draft.

Surely you don't think a god is bound to a single form, do you? [Her smile is sardonic, but interested.]

Oh? What sort of form is that?

I'll have you know the closest thing to a deity in my world are a bunch of weaklings who can't even defend themselves against a pink walking pile of chewing gum. And the other is simply a paper pusher of whom I've destroyed their office before without consequence. And if I remember correctly none of them are capable of changing forms. [He's just grouchy about being a girl, in addition to the normal grouchiness. Don't mind him.]

The form is the pinnacle of Saiyan strength. It's not so different that you wouldn't recognize me. I've just got more fur than your normal humanoid bipedal would have. And a tail. [Totally avoiding the word monkey here.]

I...don't know what to say to that, I'm just glad I'm not such a thing. I wear this shape because I choose to, nothing more. It's easier for mortals to deal with than my true shape, at least.

[She shakes her head]

That's really strange sounding. But I'll take you at your word. Your people are strange, Vegeta.

[...says the shapeshifting, walking, talking thunderstorm]

Why, what is it about your true form that makes it so difficult? Is it that of a rain cloud where you float in and out of places at will? I can see why other beings wouldn't know how to handle that, my, you'd have all the children wanting to grab at you and see if they can eat part of your body. [He's in such a bad mood. Sorry Saori.]

My people are strange, honestly. Have you not looked around this village? There are Pokémon here. [Seriously that shit is so weird. He hasn't gotten over it despite having his hand sucked on by a baby Kangaskhan.]

A mortal mind can rarely handle the sight of a divine being for very long. It looks alien to most and awe inspiring to the rest. I do not like to deal with things like that if I can avoid it. I can give you a glimpse if you want.

And yes, your people are strange. No more than mine or any other here though.

Alien? Do you know who you're talking to? [In his mind, he's seen it all. Well a lot of it at least.] I'm pretty positive I can handle whatever form you can take. So sure, try me. I'm sure I've seen stranger.

Very well. [She reaches out to touch his shoulder, briefly revealing herself only to him. A god-thing, a regal entity with a crushing spiritual strength stands in her place briefly. Ten feet tall at least, with elongated fingers easily the length of a man's hand, and a trail of clouds. A thing few people would ever have seen, even an interstellar warrior. And after a moment, it's simply gone.]

[Yep he's never seen anything like that, but weighing against that scene and seeing the Eternal Dragon and various transformations from friends and foes alike, he's probably not as phased as some others would be, but it was still a sight to behold. If he hadn't known Saori was a god he probably would have been more shocked. Count that as one more thing that's new that he's witnessed here in Luceti.]

Well you're not quite as tall as the dragon but I will say I don't think I've witnessed a being quite like that. [His eyes are still a little wide but he's keeping his composure.] Good to see that your transformation doesn't turn you into an ugly toad or something equally as disgusting. [Sort of a joke? He's seen one guy turn into something similar when he transformed.]

No, I'm not as tall as a dragon, but you could see why I wouldn't want to just...walk around like that, right?

Yes yes, I suppose I see your point. But with all the freaks here you wouldn't exactly look out of place either. I'm almost afraid to ask what else you can turn into, seeing as you can obtain a tail. But if you decide to tell me, while you're at it you can tell me how I can also do the same so I can have my tail back.

[You have no idea how bad he wants his tail back. He wants it so. Bad.]

I can't do that, unfortunately. It's not something a being like you can do, Vegeta.

[Her voice grows suddenly quiet, seeing as how this conversation parallels an earlier one with Eugene. A man with one leg, who wanted to learn how to regrow it. She'd hurt him by mistake, telling him he couldn't do such a thing. Of course, Vegeta's a bit tougher, but it doesn't really change the comparison in her mind.]

I'm sorry.

[He figured he wouldn't be able to, because let's be logical here- she's a god and he's not. He knows what his body is capable of doing. And he's really not hurt at all by that fact, as much as he would really, really like it back.] I'm aware. I was being facetious. [Sort of.]

Don't look at me like that, I'm not sitting here crying over it. I already know of a way to grow it back anyhow, it's just not permanent and there simply isn't the technology available to us here to do so now. [As close to comforting as he gets. She really doesn't have to go so quiet on him, acting all like she cares and stuff. But they'd been through enough at this point where he isn't going to tell her off completely or reject her kindness.]

I know you're not. I just...I don't know.

[She lowers her eyes and looks away. She didn't really expect him to feel the same way as a mortal like Eugene. He was a warrior, that one was a radio DJ. There was no reason, but she has to take a moment to shake her head clear. Mortals...could be so alike and so different.]

Sorry. I've been on edge since the draft. Oversensitive about such things.

[He sits back in his chair and looks right at her. He's not entirely buying that excuse. And he will make sure to make it painfully obvious he's not buying it.] Right. I'm pretty sure if I can handle my own experiences from the draft you can handle yours.

[He hasn't let himself get emotional over it since he got back, he won't let himself.]

[Well if he won't buy that...]

Oh, very well. I...said something similar to a friend on the draft, a young man with one leg. I...forgot myself and was less than gentle telling him that I could not help him. It's been bothering me. I am probably dwelling on it too much.

Well the last time I checked you were the god of wind and rain, not regeneration. So that's his own fault for thinking that you could simply give him his leg back. [He agrees. She is dwelling on it far too much.] Maybe next time he'll be a little more careful.

Sometimes...mortals expect things from gods. It's a Western idea. I would help him if I could. Because I do regenerate. But...I'm not him.

Oh so you're telling me you can't perform miracles? And here I thought you were around simply to hold their hand. Isn't that what gods do? [He's not being serious. It's a really mean-spirited joke, but still a joke nonetheless.]

[She looks away]

I can to mortal eyes. But sometimes, I don't know...they expect ridiculous things. I am no...healer. But sometimes I wish I was.

5th Taunt | Voice/Action

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